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emperor ([personal profile] emperor) wrote2009-05-15 03:55 pm
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TMI Friday

It's one of those things one never talks about. So we all assume that the way we were taught our onanistic ritual is the One True Way. And then occasionally the taboo is broken, an we find we're wrong. So in the interests of finding out just how wrong:

[Poll #1400393]

Sorry, I saw [livejournal.com profile] sion_a's post, mis-read the meaning based on scanning the first couple of answers, then decided my misreading was childishly amusing. I'll grow up one day...
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sparrowsion: (home page portrait)

[personal profile] sparrowsion 2009-05-15 03:03 pm (UTC)(link)
ITYM [livejournal.com profile] sion_a.

I'm now regretting leaving an "other" out of the original, where it seemed rather pointless.
emperor: (Default)

[personal profile] emperor 2009-05-15 03:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Corrected.

I considered adding options to the polls, but decided not doing so was more amusing.
gerald_duck: (pineapple)

[personal profile] gerald_duck 2009-05-15 03:09 pm (UTC)(link)
You missed an "other" in the second question. I suspect a lot more people fap lying down than defecate. Certainly amongst the adult population; the situation is presumably reversed for infants.

[identity profile] tigerfort.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 04:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Parsing ambiguity leading to temporary boggle: I suspect a lot more people [fap lying down] than [defecate], which leads to wondering what the rest of the population does with their internally generated solid organic waste.

[identity profile] naath.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 03:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Now I'm wondering how one would utilise paper...

[identity profile] gnimmel.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
'Paper folded' suggests some utilisation of origami, perhaps.

[identity profile] bugshaw.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 04:01 pm (UTC)(link)
When we cleared my Dad's house, and moved the bed in the teenage foster-son's room, there were lots of bits of folded A4 down the back.

*blushes*

[identity profile] cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 04:07 pm (UTC)(link)
For, uh, the same reason as in the other poll, I would have said...

[identity profile] arnhem.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Toilet paper / tissues are of relevance in a mess-reduction role, perhaps?

[identity profile] ci5rod.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Weapons of mess reduction?
ext_15802: (Default)

Eastern wisdom.

[identity profile] megamole.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
"For duty, a woman; for pleasure, a boy; for ecstasy, a watermelon."

[identity profile] mister-jack.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I find the notion that you were taught your onanistic ritual the most striking part of this.

I mean did your Dad sit you down one day and go "Son, in our family this is how we bash the bishop. I do it this way, my father did it this way and his father before him. And, now, I'll pass the secret on to you."
Edited 2009-05-15 15:45 (UTC)

[identity profile] karohemd.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 04:00 pm (UTC)(link)
That's what I thought.

[identity profile] karohemd.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 04:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Also, I really don't want to know how my dad does it.
ext_15802: (bondage)

[identity profile] megamole.livejournal.com 2009-05-16 05:13 pm (UTC)(link)
obIcon:

"Tom's coming now."

[identity profile] lavendersparkle.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
On [livejournal.com profile] booju_newju there was a question which mentioned 'the masturbation talk' with ones children which helpfully divided people into those whose sense of appropriate conversation topics had been hideously warped by Oprah style therapist speak and those, of more English sensibilities, who couldn't get past 'masturbation talk? WTF?'

[identity profile] didiusjulianus.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
There are some of us who neither talk particularly like Oprah therapists nor have a problem with talking to their children and teenagers about sexuality and sexual health...

But I didn't answer the poll because a. the question posed didn't seem to agree with what various online dictionaries told me onanistic meant (hence some bogglement until I read the comments), and b. because I have no intention of answering the poll whichever meaning is taken. Not because I am prudish (those who know me will confirm I am not) but because I do wish to maintain some personal boundaries/mystery!

It's been interesting reading this thread though.

[identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Oops, bollocks, I think I have to revote... I didn't see the fap fap fap bit and thought we were talking about having a poo.

*blush, hides*

[identity profile] emarkienna.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
and thought we were talking about having a poo

I thought the same actually - my response was "I don't actually know off hand, I'll have to wait until next time".

Then I realised what the poll was actually about, but my response is still "I don't actually know off hand ..."

[identity profile] enismirdal.livejournal.com 2009-05-16 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
Natural bodily functions - do people normally analyse what they're doing while they're doing them? *grin*

[identity profile] ptc24.livejournal.com 2009-05-15 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Hmmm, I can't say I've ever practised coitus interruptus in order to prevent myself from impregnating my sister-in-law (I don't even have one, certainly not one that's been widowed by the death of my brother, my brother is perfectly alive thankyou very much), and I have certainly never been motivated to do so by thoughts that a child resulting from the lack of said coitus interrpuptus might not count as mine...

[identity profile] the-marquis.livejournal.com 2009-05-16 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
Why do you want to know?
emperor: (Default)

[personal profile] emperor 2009-05-16 10:20 am (UTC)(link)
It's more I thought it would be a vaguely amusing poll, in the light of my misreading of [livejournal.com profile] sion_a's poll.

[identity profile] strangederby2.livejournal.com 2009-05-16 02:38 pm (UTC)(link)
So um sorry I'm still confused. What exactly are we talking about here? Masturbation? Cleaning up after masturbation? Pooing? Interuptus? Something else? This poll is totaly confusing.
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